The first year after losing someone can bring new challenges every month. The First Year, from LINKS Wellness, gives you a private, supportive space to talk about whatever that month has brought, with someone independent from the people closest to you.
Losing someone leaves a void in your life that you feel instantly but the impact of that loss continues to reveal itself over time.
The funeral might be over. People might have stopped checking in quite as often. Life around you might appear to be retuning to normal.
Your experience of your loss though is still unfolding.
And sometimes it isn’t a significant date at all.
Sometimes it’s just an ordinary Tuesday when you might hear their favourite song, or catch yourself laughing for the first time since they’ve gone and weirdly feel guilty for it or something happens and they’re simply the person you would have told.
The First Year exists so you have somewhere to take those moments.
Each monthly session will start with the same question ...
"What firsts have you had to face this month?"
You may have wonderful family and friends around you and still find yourself holding things back.
This is usually because you’re aware that the people you would normally turn to are grieving too.
Perhaps you don’t want to upset your children.
Your partner is grieving differently.
You’re worried people are tired of hearing about it.
Everyone seems to be moving forward and you don’t feel ready to.
Or maybe you simply want somewhere you don’t have to worry about anybody else’s feelings at all.
During your monthly session, you don’t have to protect anybody else. It is just about you and your grief.
You can talk about them. Miss them. Be angry. Laugh about a memory. Admit it hurts. Admit you’re doing better. Say something you’ve said ten times before.
There is no right way to use the space.
Whatever each month brings, there is a conversation waiting for you.
Once a month you’ll have a private, 45 minute, 1-2-1 session.
There’s no prescribed grief programme to work through and no expectation that you should be at a particular stage by a particular point.
We simply start each session with:
“What firsts have you had to face this month?”
From there, the session is yours.
We might talk about something that has happened, something coming up, how your relationships are changing, memories, loneliness, guilt, anger, practical challenges or simply how strange life feels without that person in it.
This isn’t about helping you forget them or “move on”. It’s about helping you navigate life whilst carrying the loss with you.
Life won’t ever feel normal, as you’ve known it, without them but you will start to create a new version of normal for yourself.
You don’t need to know where to start in order to start!
You have lost a partner, parent, sibling, child, friend or another important person in your life and would value having consistent support as you adjust to life without them.
You don’t have to be recently bereaved either. The First Year can simply begin from the point you decide you’d like someone alongside you.
I’m Phil, the therapist behind LINKS Wellness and The First Year
My approach to therapy is straightforward, human and conversational. You won’t be expected to perform grief in a particular way or be ushered through a predetermined process.
My role isn’t to tell you how you should be handling your grief.
It’s to give you somewhere you can be completely honest about how you’re really doing.
Do i have to start immediately after someone dies?
No. The First Year begins whenever you’re ready to have someone walk alongside you.
What if i don’t feel like i have anything to talk about one month?
That’s completely fine. There doesn’t need to be a crisis to justify having a conversation. You’ll still feel the benefit of having a general outlet.
Is this grief counselling?
It is 1-2-1 therapeutic support for bereavement but it isn’t a structured grief programme. The sessions respond to what you’re experiencing rather than expecting your grief to follow a particular model.
What if i’m already several months into my grief?
You haven’t missed anything. The First Year gives you 12 monthly session from the point you start.
Can you purchase The First Year for someone else?
You can however i would make sure you discuss it with the intended person first to ensure they are willing to utilise it.
What happens after the 12 months?
There should be no implied finish line for grief. Once you’ve completed your 12 monthly sessions it’s entirely your call depending on how you feel at that point. In your 12th session we would obviously discuss what next steps you might want to take. You could simply stop, transition to the standard LINKS Wellness membership for a continual monthly outlet or assess another LINKS Wellness service.
NAVIGATING GRIEF; STEP BY STEP
